Identity of a Refugee

I often wonder what would happen if someone said ‘Refugees all over the world, unite!’, and they did. Would we have another country? Would they be another nation? What kind of nation would they be?

I have 23 years of experience of being a refugee. The country I ended up in, and I mean ended up – we barely made it out of war-torn Bosnia into Croatia, we stayed in Croatia in a refugee camp for three months, taking each day as it came since Croatia was also still in a war, but it was a ‘mild’ war, and to be frank, we’ weren’t welcome; some months on Croatia and Bosnia will also go into a war on Bosnian territory. Anyway, we couldn’t stay and we had nowhere to go. Eventually, someone came and said ‘Do you want to go to Britain, the flight leaves in an hour?’ So, we ended up in Britain. We arrived on a small private jet, four mothers and 21 children. The flight that normally lasts two hours, lasted seven hours. In other words, first time I took a flight anywhere, was in a small private jet, we sat on the floor, evenly space out as we needed to keep the balance otherwise the plain couldn’t fly. I remember it was very cold. I don’t know where we landed, but when we did, as we all got up to make our way to the exit, the plain tilted on its tail. Outside we were greeted by reporters. I was one of the first to get out since I sat close to the door. When the plain tilted I was already on the steps. This was also the first time I saw reporters, multiple flashes of many cameras, and questions. We didn’t speak English so we had no idea what they were asking.

We were lead onto a bus. Some of the reporters joined us on the bus and my mother spoke to them in German – she studied German in school. Two hours on the bus, my mother asked what time we would arrive. The reporter replied ‘at about twelve’. My mother said “Alright, so in about three hours.” The reporter said “No, tomorrow at twelve in the afternoon.” As my mother told the other mothers this, they began crying, asking out loud ‘Where are they taking us?” My mother tried to calm them down, telling them that Britain is a nice country, but in truth, she had no idea and later she told me that she was also terrified.

I wish someone told me that this was the moment I got a new identity. I wish someone said that I will forever be a refugee. Nothing can change that. But, no one did. We didn’t know ‘them’ and ‘they’ didn’t know about us. Oh well, we live and learn.

Comparing that with what’s going on today, I’m pleased ‘the new refugees’ are better informed. Information could be the difference between spending many nights crying hopelessly in fear, or not crying but having a reason to hope that everything will be alright. Plus, they can keep in touch with their loved ones. God Almighty, I will never forget the hours we spent dialling a mile long number over some satellite to get through to our family just so that we know they’re alive, especially at times when we’d hear about some attack on the news.

When we left Bosnia, we were convinced we’d be back in a month or so. When we came to the UK, we thought we’d be there a year, two at the most. 23 years on, we are coming to terms with the ‘two country’ life. It might sound lovely to some, but imagine your heart being ripped and in two places at once. Travelling is one thing, this kind of life is something quite the opposite. I’m not complaining though; I was extremely lucky to ‘end up’ in the UK, a country that treated me with utmost humanity. I’ve graduated economics, completed a masters in Voluntary Action Management, and I’m determined to figure out the ‘third’ sector. I’ve even figured out a way to make myself useful for both countries (or at least I hope that will be the result of my labours) since I owe to both, I belong to both, I’m a citizen, a responsible citizen of both. No matter how hard it is to be a responsible citizen of one country, I believe I can accomplish to be a responsible citizen of two countries.

And this brings me back to my question: What kind of nation would refugees make? From my experience, and bear in mind that refugees and migrants are to very distinct groups of people, refugees are the most peace loving ‘nation’ you can ever hope for. No one appreciates peace and life more than those who have tasted war and death, or at least had a close call with death. There are also, in my opinion, at least three groups of refugee: 1. Refugees of ethnic cleansing – life at risk: 100%, 2. Refugees of war – life at risk: 80-90% 3. Refugee of persecution – this one is on individual basis and life at risk could range from 10-90%. ‘Life at risk’ basically means how likely they were to die if they hadn’t escaped.

Another characteristic I would point out about refugees is that they are grateful. People are generally grateful to those who save their life.

And, refugees long to return. There is something about being told to leave. Migrants choose to leave, refugees do not have this choice. They always long to return. Nostalgia has nothing to balance it out. Migrants, when they feel nostalgic remind themselves of the reasons they moved in the first place. Refugees do not have any reasons, all they have is nostalgia and it can be very painful. This is the only mistake I think UK made towards us; they never understood the importance of going back ‘home’ to face some hard truths and be the ones responsible to bring the country back to its feet. None of us cared much about the burned buildings, we were all prepared to face that, that can be fixed. But the way people change, hence the country, nothing can prepare you for that. All my education… I needed years to learn how to apply what I know in Bosnia. And the real problem is that I always planned to learn how to apply my knowledge in Bosnia, so that I can return to the UK and say: Right, if you want the Voluntary Sector to be of significant value to the UK, Charity Commission needs to become ‘this’. And I think this is the future of ‘Global village’, I think this is how the lessons learned in ‘chaos’ can help prevent chaos in another part of the world. And, shouldn’t that be our primary objective?

If I had a say, I wouldn’t turn anyway anyone. ‘When someone knocks on your door asking for help, you should give them the help you can.’ There are rules on how much one country can interfere in another. Why do we invade another country with our armies and not with our brains? Why is it okay to send troops and not politicians? I firmly believe that we can help migrants better in their own home. Why don’t we? Of course, refugees we’d have to take in, but I think they should be taught and encouraged to lead their own countries when the armed conflicts are over. If they choose not to go back, fair enough. But I sure some will choose to go back. Among them there might be future leaders who will bring the country back to life and make it a valuable member of our world. And who knows how much we all might benefit from that?